How not to predict an election in a very pissed off country!

With political temperatures at an all time high, statistical analysts are having a field day reporting their findings and swaying the multitudes to different political allegiances at will. Long before the Steadman polls and long after them, women had, and continue to take statistical analysis to the next level especially when it comes to men. A woman will always have in her posy, a designated steadwoman. Her Steadwoman will evaluate all the men interested in her and feed her an opinion based on her findings. Using a steadwoman has the advantage of being very objective and not influenced by emotion, it presents fact.
Sticklers for detail, they can judge a miss or a hit from a mile away by just looking at his swagger and step. From what you wear from head to toe to how far back your hairline recedes they seem to rank men on a scale of one to ten and give a final grade and proceed to judge suitability. So, if you thought that a great shirt, musky cologne and a credit card were all you needed to woo the gorgeous damsel across the room, then you have another thing coming. More often than not, we get away with just that, but that is because the male population scores poorly on these polls, leaving very little to separate one man from the next, that’s where attention to detail comes in handy.
Fortunately, achieving an average score is pretty simple, because women are more superficial than they claim to be. An average score gives you license to approach and about 5seconds to plead your case, used wisely, 5 seconds could get you a shot at continuous assessment over coffee, or if you are really… what’s that word? ‘Committed’, a couple of kids. Rumour has it; the first place a woman looks is at your shoes, which is a polite way of figuring out your shoe size, followed by a thorough full body screening which with good grooming and decent genes any worthy gentleman should breeze through. If so far, you’re not doing so well, conversation is the real money shot and here, entertainment is the name of the game at getting yourself a decent score.
After the steadwoman has put you through all the paces, she tallies her results and compares them to other potential contenders and then she avails the findings to her girlfriend. Suffice to say, the results are often surprisingly accurate but in keeping with women, often grossly exaggerated for extra spice. With hard facts now at her disposable, she is left with the unenviable task of factoring in all the emotions and mushy stuff and choosing her favourite candidate.
the steadwomans job doesn’t end there once her friend is in a stable relationship, she’s the one who keeps tabs on the unassuming man, keeping her ear to the streets, watching his every move and issuing progress reports. This is the most probable reason why we are always caught; we spend all our time covering our tracks from the wrong person. The successful career of a steadwoman hangs on the moment when she can say ‘I told you so!’They are the devil in the details, they are every mans worst enemy, but with the all the right moves, can be a cunning mans most important ally.